ABC's of Successfully Navigating Quarantine with Children

Quarantine and Isolation: two words we have all become more familiar with this year. How do we navigate them? How do we help our kids with these changing times? The ABC’s of Successfully Navigating Quarantine with Children is here to help!

Realize you are not alone.

The nation and the world is experiencing a new global response to a global pandemic. Changes in how we work, school, live, recreate — have taken place. Collectively, we have had to learn how to distance safely, wash our hands, and stay home when we are ill. Because of the focus on our role as humans in spreading or preventing the spread of viral illness, we have learned to pause and reflect: What is my risk? What is the risk I am presenting to others? Important questions to ask and evaluate.

What about our kids?

The world has changed. Change can be scary. Change can be good. Change can be, just – change. How do we help? As a mom I want to protect my little kiddies while also empowering them to make good decisions. My kids learn best when they understand the “why” behind the direction. This is true in school, in cleaning their room, in why birthday parties look different, in all areas. My kiddies are young — and have different abilities to process information. As a nurse, I can get too technical sometimes. The balance in my approach is something I continue to work toward.

How do you find the balance?

Here are some simple ways you can incorporate talking about change with your kids. If your kids are little like mine, you are right in the middle of ABCs. If your kids are older — going back to the basics can still be helpful to the conversation.

ABCs of Successfully Navigating Quarantine with Children

A – Acknowledge and work toward accepting the change.

Ok – this one is hard. Simple to write. But, can be harder to implement.

We can help our kiddies navigate quarantine by acknowledging that there has been a change. There have been changes. There have been big changes. And there can be some grief that accompanies those changes. Having an open conversation about the change with your littles can help them see they they are not alone. You and they are in this together! They have a team. Someone understands their world has changed. Things are different. And that can be hard. And acknowledging that change is hard is ok. It is also empowering to talk about how things can be handled during this time – together – with you in their corner to help them. Some of the changes they have experienced may include:

The way they learn
- Online resources are great! But not for every child’s learning style or need.
- Our kids have had to learn how to navigate learning! Think about that for a minute – they have had to learn a new way to access information. This is a big change.
The way they play
- Group sports look different now, including how we practice and play, what we wear, where we can sit, who can come watch
- Play dates and indoor areas are not the frequent occurrence they used to be
- Socialization is important for kids to learn and grow, balancing these needs with safety is essential
The way they connect
- Connecting with grandparents now looks more like a video call
- Connecting with spiritual centers has a distance component
- Participating in classes or events have taken on more virtual elements

Acknowledging these (and other) changes is a great way to open the conversation and allow children to hear that you see them. You see the changes. You are proud of the way they have worked through the changes and you together can acknowledge the way the changes have impacted each of you. This is a work in progress but offers an opportunity to build your own communication and connection with your child.

B – Be responsible for your response.

You are responsible for the way you respond. This is true of all of life for all of us. Being responsible for our response helps highlight the importance of personal choice and empower you to choose your response. Knowing that you can hit “pause”, take a deep breath, count to ten, recenter and refocus, reflect and then respond — what a difference! Teaching our kids to do this… ok, this one is not the easiest either. So how do we do this?

Kids learn from what they see. They see you. Their parent. Model the ABC’s of Successfully Navigating Quarantine with Children. Practicing these steps will help build your resiliency, shape your response, and help you help your kids learn to use the ABC’s in their own response.

For individuals, for parents, for moms, for nurses, for healthcare professionals, for all of us — the stress of changes and the impact of the pandemic can be overwhelming. Please hear this: Part of being responsible for your response is to be active in reaching out for help. Mental wellness is crucial to balance in life. Finding a trained professional counselor, therapist, healthcare provider who will help you walk through what you are experiencing is a great asset. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It can provide a source of strength. To pour out to others, we must have something to give. If we have not taken care of our own mental wellness needs we are not as available to help those we love — including our own kids. Model your willingness to address the needs you have yourself.

By modeling for and teaching our kids to be responsible for their response — we build resiliency. Simple mindfulness exercises can help prepare you (and your kids) to recognize emotions before they become too “big” to handle. Watching for the triggers, being aware of when the load is too much, recognizing when either you or your kids need a break or a change of pace, or a different approach — these are powerful moments. Practicing together deep breathing, appreciation, daily gratitude reflection — these are things that help the connection for your child and their emotion, strengthen their ability to respond from a place of peace and good intention, and also work to help you and your child build better understanding with each other.

I get it – some of these things sound like “big” topics. I don’t have teenagers or pre-teeners. My youngest is in preschool. It has taken me a while to recognize that these “big” topics are the ones we need to talk about as a family and work on. Since shifting the focus in our house from “Why are you acting this way?” to “What is leading to this choice” there has been less frustration, more conversation, and a whole lot more peace. Stopping to give each child the individual attention and time to practice tools for resiliency and response has been a game changer in our home. Using these ABC’s to Successfully Navigate Quarantine with Children can help you in your response to change.

C – Choose your response to the change.

With or without the skills to empower positive responses – the one constant in our response is that our response is our choice. The empowerment comes when the tools to help make positive choices have been practiced, cultivated and allowed to thrive.

Working together on the ABC’s of Successfully Navigating Quarantine with Children look different at different times. Being mindful of these steps can help. A scenario that came up at our house involved missing a basketball game due to a team mate exposure that lead to needing to quarantine.

“I hate staying home! This isn’t fair!”

A: Missing this game is hard. You have really looked forward to it, and have been practicing.

B: It is hard for all team mates to miss the game. But it is not their fault. I am sad that we are missing the fun we have together as a team. I will recognize that and choose not to be angry at this situation or let it ruin my day.

C: Basketball is something I enjoy, and playing games with a team is an added bonus. I will continue to practice to get better for when I do get to play with my friends again, and also just because I like it.

Added bonus: Mom goes out and gets soundly beat by a little kid in a one on one. Cardio done for the day. At the end of the game, mom says: “I am proud of the way you chose to respond to this change. It was disappointing. But you chose to work through that disappointment. Thank you for playing with me!” Then together talking about what changes needed to happen in the next few days as quarantine happens to ensure a healthy wellness balance.

To recap: The ABC’s of Successfully Navigating Quarantine with Children include:

A – Acknowledge and work toward accepting the change.
B – Be responsible for your response.
C – Choose your response to the change.

This work in progress will help empower you and your children to start looking at change differently and lay the foundation to begin working together on the way change impacts you and your child in your wellness journey.

Click here for more information on how to approach Quarantining with Children. Including Quarantining with Children: Secrets to Finding Balance.