Quarantining with Children: Secrets to Finding Balance

Quarantining with children has become a common part of daily conversation for many of us across the states and the world. It takes some effort to create a balanced approach to having kids at home. Both my husband and I are in fields that interact with the public in health-related capacities. We have potential for exposures and have been quarantined.  At the beginning of the COVID-19 cases coming to our state, my hunky handsome hubby put us on the quarantine list a couple of times due to his work. Since that time, safety measures improved and he no longer has the risk as before.

Science is ever changing and evolving. We are learning new things daily when it comes to novel viruses. Our family has experienced quarantining with children a few times and we have learned a few things in the process.

At the end of the school year last year – all three little kiddies ended virtually. We love our teachers and our school, but online learning / virtual school is not a good fit for our family. I was homeschooled the old-fashioned way many moons ago by a mother whose primary job/ focus was homeschooling. My children do not have that privilege. Mommy works. Daddy works. Mommy works from home a lot. My three little kiddies have learned words like “conference call” and “zoom” and know to legit Not.Touch.The.Office.Door. when mommy is on a “Very important conference call”. It’s a thing. 

Like many want-to-be-Pinterest moms I had high expectations for quarantining with children.

I was going to work sheet and have education binders, there was going to be educational games and focused family time. Quarantining with children was going to be a wonderful bonding experience. We were going to have balance. It was going to be amazing. My cousin is a teacher. She gave me resources. My sister is a teacher – she sent boxes of activities organized by date and she connected at a certain time with each one of my three little kiddies to lead the learning through these activities. 

The teachers at my little’s school had different approaches to virtual education.

The tiny littlest kiddie’s teacher didn’t connect virtually (it was too emotional for teacher and kids in Pre-K to do that – my little cried the few times they tried to do Zoom because she missed everyone too much). The middle little kiddie had about 30 minutes a day with her teacher and the oldest little kiddie had a full hour to hour and a half. The school had organized a textbook / school supply touchless pick up so we had all their art supplies to add to what we already had in the dining room at home. 

What I realized quickly was that I am not a Pinterest mom. No matter how bad I want to be. But, I was also working full time and I was struggling to connect all three little kiddies and myself to our various zoom and conference calls. There was no balance. It was hard. We were all frustrated. It sucked.  Quarantining with children is no walk in the park.

Simple things with big payoff. 

I love my little kiddies. However, I felt like a failure as a homeschooling mom (because I was – duh), and while I was talking with a Occupational Therapist, she said something that impacted me greatly – The greatest learning experience for kids is play. Although I have heard this so many times, it meant something more during my current situation.  

• In the OT world, we purchase therapeutic putty to help kids work on their grip. 
  • I had a whole backyard of dirt available to mix with water to make mud for imaginative creations that would help my pre-writer develop hand strength. 
• In the OT world, kids work on balance beams to help with balance and coordination. 
  • I have a backyard with rocks, little earth mounds, and a play set that would help with balance. 
• Sidewalk chalk pictures and letters replaced paperwork. 
• Roller skating became a daily occurrence on our sidewalk.
• Tablets and electronics are not used outside of school time.  
• The new rule became “stay where I can hear you” and my kids were expected to go outside and stay there all day (of course they could come inside for potty and food/drinks). 

Some days they were bored and complained.

Sometimes my kids just need to know that they have the same amount of time to play as they do to pout and it is their choice how they spend their day. They could be bored outside as well as in, and they were going out. There was a lot of grass to count if they couldn’t think of anything else to do. Yes. I sent my kids outside through their tears and sometimes their fits. Most days though weren’t like that. And I bought them rain coats and boots and they went out every day – even in the rain – even for just a little bit. They stomped in puddles, they made a rock collection, they went out to the chicken pen and played with the chickens all day.  

It irritated me when they would not wear shoes. So we compromised and they didn’t wear shoes or socks and went barefoot. (There were several ruined ruffled pairs of socks prior to this compromise). We lost a lot of pants and leggings due to the stains and holes. My kids came back inside at night dirty and stinking. 

They had the best time. 

Quarantining with children became a return to creative and old fashioned childhood that our parents remember and we experienced a little bit of, but, somehow, we have forgotten to pay forward to our own littles.

It was the simple things – playing with sticks, in the dirt, collecting rocks, petting chickens, collecting eggs – that made working from home with kids at home able to be balanced. Quarantining with children was still hard. However, we were making it — together!

There is therapy to this approach: 

No shoes and socks allow for grounding. A connection to the earth with bare feet. This article outlines some of the benefits of grounding or “earthing”. Being out in the sunshine and fresh air help increase the Vitamin D and helps connect to the rhythm of nature. Hearing the birds chirp, watching the leaves blow in the wind, all helped bring balance and harmony to the three little kiddies. Learning that mommy was not going to govern or intervene and would not tolerate tattling helped them learn that they had to work out their differences together. They learned to compromise. Not every day. But more days than not. There were some fights. My kids had to learn to get along with each other. They had to play with each other. They became better friends.  

My village helped so much when quarantining with children.

My sister had guided arts and crafts activities that she did remotely with them over zoom from several states away. The three little kiddies were creative (without my supervision) with things like glue and stickers, and my sister ensured they picked things up after they were done and before disconnecting with them. My oldest learned how to use zoom and connect for these sessions which was a game changer for this mom’s balance! 

After work, I would make dinner. Then we would work on the workbook pages from school and read together. My middle little is just now coming into reading and confidence in sounding out words. Daily reading is important to help enhance this skill. It is important not to do “too much” with her or she becomes overwhelmed. So the little readers from school have been perfect. They make good nighttime stories. And she loves to rock together when we read.  Quarantining with children began to look differently and we developed routines.

Balance looks different for different people.

Balance is important for adults and it is important for littles. However, I find that when my kids are free to play, are unencumbered by electronics, they have better balance.

• My three little kiddies still want and ask for electronics.
• They still have some time for electronic games that they earn.
• But we have found at our house attitudes get out of balance when the three little kiddies spend too much time with movies or tablets. 

The secret to finding balance when quarantining with children: embrace the mess and the messy, the loud and the crazy. Allow kids to be kids and give yourself permission to not meet unrealistic expectations. Play with your kids. Read with your kids. Cook and Explore and Create. Be present as you can and engage when you can. Find the beauty in the little moments and be ok with ok.

What are some ways you include balance for your kids? 

How are you quarantining with children successfully?

Information on this blog is not intended to assess, diagnose or treat. Information and opinions here are not medical advice.